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Best advice I heard was to just go in and see which one feels best in your hand. Everyone is different and so is each gun. You need the physical interaction to make a proper decision.
A .45 pistol is the deep end if you don’t have shooting experience, maybe consider taking classes if you’re dead set on one. A 9mm is a great way to start but ultimately everyone’s different.
Find a decent store in your area and go in with an open mind.